


What She Got

by TheMadDesperado



Series: Inktober 2018 [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Dragon Age II Quest - All That Remains, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 15:30:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16177958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMadDesperado/pseuds/TheMadDesperado
Summary: Alex Hawke was the only person who could hold Kirkwall together and destroy it at the same time.





	What She Got

Alex Hawke wasn't exactly a "good" person. 

Apostate to the chantry she was always on the run, but she wasn't alone, at least her father and her sister were in the same boat. She knew the risks though.

When Papa Hawke died, Alex changed. 

Serious, the only one who could bring in money. Carver was just a kid, not really but Alex couldn't make him fight. So she joined the local gang and learned to fight, with her fists this time.

She hauled the Hawke's out of the hole they fell in after Papa Hawke died. She payed for food in blood, bought clothes with teeth and sold treasures for promises.

She became a legend, and a frustration to one.

When Lothering burned, Alex knew they had to leave. The blight was coming fast, and it was taking their town with it. 

Her face was stone as she ushered her family through the screams and smoke, if she didn't look she couldn't see, she wasn't a child, but she didn't know how to handle this.

Aveline was a stroke of good luck, even if her man was a templar. He wasn't after her or Bethany, at least not after Avaline mentioned that it was a blight.

That was when the blight took a second Hawke. 

Bethany saved her mother at the cost of het own life, the ogre killed her in a moment and tossed her aside like a cat did a mouse. Alex stared, but she couldn't stay grieving, she had to kill that thing before it took more.

Leandra blamed Alex, if she hadn't gone and trained Bethany wouldn't think she could take on an ogre. Little did leandra know Alex also blamed herself. 

Flemeth didn't know what she saw in the young Alex, ripe off her sisters death, sure she saw anger, greif, and fear, but there was this resignation too, as if she knew there was no way out.

Maybe it was that Alex knew Flemeth wouldn't help them that she did, and all Alex needed to do was bring the trinket to the Dalish in Kirkwall, simple right?

Alex realised not so much once actually in Kirkwall. 

Carver and Alex joined the mercenaries. She knew Carver wanted to be like her, strong with a stronger reputation.

A year of thievery, bribery, battery and so many more illicit things the siblings were "free". 

Free in the city of chains.

She met with the Dalish and did as Flemeth asked, Alex just wasn't expecting her to be in the thing. 

But also that was where Alex met Merrill. The innocent ball of sunshine that was being stomped out by her tribe. She took the young woman away and tarnished the innocence with Kirkwalls filth.

She met a lot of people in need that first year, Varric of course got her reputation off the ground with the deep roads expedition and helped her and Carver find some other jobs.

Isabella was a riot. She held a party once in Gamlens house, with out telling him or listening when he tried to kick her out, it was Carvers birthday, and it was getting celebrated.

Fenris stole her heart, and a few others but not quite in the same way. His anger was justified, but it was placed on innocents, like Alex herself, only by being born with magic in her veins. 

Anders was a mystery. He wanted freedoms, but he also wanted revenge, Karl was the tipping point, and Alex was scared to push him any farther.

Alex wasn't a good person. She killed people for money, tricked others out of it, but most of all she couldn't keep her loved ones safe.

Carver got the blight in the deep. Anders was thankfully there to tell Alex he could be saved, but never to return. 

Leandra blamed Alex, if she wasn't so insane Carver wouldn't want to go and be a hero, Bethany wouldn't have tried to save everyone, Malcom wouldn't have left. 

The last crime was tacked on after they moved to the estate. The last two Hawkes home to roost but the home was empty. 

Leandra took Amell back. 

Alex tried to fill the house, an ex-slave who only knew work being paid for the first time handsomely by Alex and the father and son merchant team, who just took over the house up-keep with out Alex asking. 

The next year was chaos for Alex, she was thrown at every problem by the Vicount from Qunari to Templars to mages to dragons. 

Not only that but her friends were starting to leave her as well. Isabella left when the Qunari needed their relic back, but she returned it eventually.

Fenris broke her heart by leaving her the one night they spent together.

Anders and Merrill were planning something, to each their own, and had isolated themselves. Avaline was guard Capitan and Varric was trying to track down his traitor brother. 

Alex was alone with her thoughts more than she would have liked. Leandra had taken up dating again, and was out of the house more often than not, saying Alex needed to think more about her future as an Amell.

 She wanted to scream that this was all for her, the house, Kirkwall, the gangs. She wanted her to give up the mantle of the breadwinner Hawke. Become a nice Amell lady and bear some sons for whatever Lord still wanted her after her crimes.

She slammed the door after her mother left.

Alex thought her life was falling apart and she was the only one who wanted to put it back together. 

Leandra came back that night and didn't speak to her last daughter. She walked right to her room and slammed her door, the sound echoing through the silent halls.

Even if she and Gamlen were all Alex had left, they were all she had too. 

Alex found herself in Lowtown more. She would stumble out of The Hanged Man and fall onto Gamlens door, knocking a few times and begging him to come to the manor and live with them. 

He wouldn't berate her like leandra would, he would only give her this sad look and drag her to the bed she shared with Carver not but one year ago. 

They grew closer than Alex ever thought they would, he was just like Carver, the second, not quite good enough, never better than leandra. Alex listened to his stories with a different set of ears after that realization.

He still wouldn't move in with them though. 

Isabella had returned after Alex defeated the Arishok, a main stay at the bar, but not in Alex's home anymore.

Fenris was still in her heart, breaking it with each time he wouldn't touch her.

Anders and Merrill were silent, Alex was scared of anders plans at this point, his manifesto getting more and more detailed each time Bohdan left it on her desk. And Merrill last said she would need to return to her clan in a while.

Alex Hawke was the only one still with one foot in Fereldan. Everyone else was firmly planted in Kirkwall.

Alex wasn't a good woman. 

She left the house without speaking to Leandra, the manor was stifling and Alex needed to be out of Kirkwall.

When she returned Gamlen was in her hall. 

He was supposed to have dinner tonight with Leandra, they were going to talk for the first time since he revealed he spent her share of the will.

White lilly's sat on the table with Bohdan, he said she got them from her suitor. Gamlen couldn't believe that she was just out on a date.

Alex felt the same when night fell.

She searched until dawn breached again, Varric had seen her when he went into The Hanged Man, and once more when he left in the morning.

He grabbed Aveline and Fenris when he saw her searching still that afternoon. They found her with Gamlen, both worried and putting together their findings.

A child had told them about a blood trail and they had started to follow it when her friends jumped in the search.

It was a horror that should not be wished on anyone. 

Alex didn't leave her room for a week.

She was it. The lady of the house and the head of the Hawke name. Her mother died and it was all because She wasn't fast enough. Food had no taste, she only ate to prevent her new family from worrying. 

It was her fault. Leandra's words echoed around Alex that week. All that should have been said and all that was. 

By the next week Orana had tried to talk to her, but Alex only answered one word for each. Eventually Orana did what she knew needed to be done.

She found Fenris.

To his surprise the ex-slave knocked and ran in, not bothering with words until she knew he was there.

Fenris left with her the moment she finished telling him where Alex was. 

He stood at the door for too long, his hand frozen just before the wood, but eventually he let it fall to the handle and let himself in.

Alex was at her desk, covered in ink and rifiling through old letters when she heard the door open, but she didn't look, Bohdan was probably back.

She was shocked when she saw the white tattoos and dark skined hand grab her own.

He didn't know what to say, but it didn't matter, Alex's tears fell and he just held her in that moment. 

Alex was now in Kirkwall. Lothering was unreachable.

And she thought the last year was hard. 

She fled with Fenris, after killing Meredith and Orsino, her eyes were full of tears when she ran to her manor, Fenris led the way his hand holding hers in a vice until they reached it.

She gave Orana half her gold and grabbed the last of Lothering for Carver. 

She would hold her brother again, which is more than anyone else in the family. She sobbed when his embrace was just as tight as hers.

Alex wanted to be a good person, but sometimes the world needed something else.

**Author's Note:**

> I forgot to edit this yesterday!


End file.
